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RegretIn a mere instant you mischievously took my breath away
If I'd only known that deceit and death would stay
The heat wouldn't have made me lay the world at your feet
Now I'm ought to pay the price for these faked seed
The moment I curtsied as deeply, kneeling before you,
I ignorantly sealed my fate completely, a bleeding sore
Steadily numbing me with grief eternally, you'll see
The effects of leaving me, a disease far from any healing
Why have you abandoned me? And why did I let you go?
But you, purity, have no footprints I could follow, even though
I should stop giving up everything I owe for you. I will
Face my throe since I foreknow it will never work out at all.
I concede my pursuit of you, every thought's now wasted and hollow
Lo and Behold, the atrocious truth I'm about to let implode
Infinite time won't be a cure for a broken heart nor an empty soul
You only become inured to the pain, a hollering everlasting shadow.
LossA long forgotten emotion,
Passion beyond comprehension,
Was set in motion, a consuming fire
Ascending from an once plain desire.
Now my head is an area of tension,
My heart a stormy ocean, conspiring
Against my sanity, acquiring
My sense of reality. Perception
Barely clear. Your crimson appearance,
Imprisoned me in a madly trance.
You didn't let me drop,
I was solid as a rock, unable to stop.
Bonded to pure temptation,
Copped for insane admiration.
What a frustration you thought
And became bored to the border.
You left and shattered the order
Of our world. Wincing even louder
I mourn my last summer,
Summoning the outworn winter
This gorgeous feeling,
Seeking for more glorious bliss,
But the world is amiss,
Evolving at an insane speed,
I am unable to keep
Up with. Unstable and emptied
I live, yet frenzied by a sparkle of
Fictive opportunity. Aching memories
Won't leave me be.
Ich binDer einsame Wolf
Belogen, betrogen, verstoßen von meinem eigenem Volk
Wider aller Graumsamkeit bewahrte Ich meinen Stolz
Meine Grün-blauen Augen
Brennende Entschlossenheit, kein Irrglauben
Kalte Leidenschaft um Seelen zu Rauben
Arroganz und Zorn beschatten mein Antlitz
Meine Macht ist das Wort, doch meine Klauen sind spitz
Mein Geist, mein Blick, ein durchbohrender Blitz
Dreaming close to the edgeI'm lying here calmly
With my eyes closed, fearless
I'm breahting steadily
The world revolves in darkness
I dare to dream
Of an amazingly beautiful scenery
A hidden scream
Rises to surface unconsciously
Letting myself drift through my soul's twisted paths
I hope to not get lost in all eternity
A raven resounding voice distinctively calls
To give in my instincts blindly
The voice: majestic - yet scaring
It attracts, lures, tempts
My mind, for my head to be aching
Holllering ghosts it exempts
The resolve to withstand shatters
I follow the absorbing voice
Reason stays behind and mutters
But I already made my choice
The voice has me under its spell
Now it lays down its mask
Revealing a devilish monster I could not repel,
And starts its torturing task
Anger, fury and rage rule me
I dared to dream
Fear, hurt and pain caused by me
All I do is scream
The voice makes me raise the bloody sword
Pointing it at the innocent child
And - I finally wake up. Peace restored.
For now the voice is exiled.
Forced to passivityNow I'm sitting here being ill
The worst: unable to finally fulfill
What I spoke of as the quest
For my will to ultimately test
As night's darkness nears
I desperately shed my precious tears
Wouldn't care if anybody hears
What stimulates my fears
My world has been shattered
A cloak of pain is all I wear
Oh, fate don't you dare feel flattered!
And what's left? An empty stare.
VictimYou are holy
The kindest person I knew
Your fate solely
A warm heart that only have few
What I sensed when I first met you
Innocence, purity, unconditional love
Noone couldn't like you, me too
Sadly the scapegoat was a dove
She first reached out to me
When the burning pain was unbearable
Pulled me out of hell didn't she?
Yet it didn't make her destiny less terrible
Is what ripped apart her existence
At least bloodless
And now freed of all ecumbrance
Your will of ember
Within your friends as defender
We live your memory
Through my empty life
No goal set high
Nothing to lead my way
And nowhere I want to stay
Friends I had
Nice people, nothing too bad
But my bonds are not made
For a long lasting charade
We talk, we have fun
Together but I desire to run
Away. I don't feel connected
To these people. I already shed
Too many lonely tears
Is it me everyone fears?
Still remains a certain wish
I know it's quite selfish
Someone reaching out to me
Discovering my personality
Showing honest interest
And being my best
Wishes rarely come true
I am eagerly waiting for you
Until then I am fulfilling my destiny
Being the lone wolf
ResolveYour goals were set high
Wanted to conquer the sky
But progress is missing
Your doing lacks blessing
Doubt and despair will come along
Marking everything you believed in as wrong
Fear will be the harbinger
And emptiness is what lingers
Your world is turning upside down
But there is one escape from the emotional drown
Your will can be your shield
If your hearts desire is the weapon you wield
Mental Disorder Discrimination"You said you've got depression?
No you don't, you attention seeker.
You're just an average teenager with the perfect life
Desperately looking for sympathy."
Stop crying, you coward.
You're just a childish "scaredy-cat".
Blaming your problems on a mental disorder
That doesn't even exist."
"So you're schizophrenic?
Grow the hell up, and stop acting like a child
You're too old for imaginary friends
You callow, juvenile, little twit."
But if we're attention seekers,
Why do we try so hard to hide our feelings from the world?
Why do we isolate ourselves in our rooms,
Desperately hiding the cuts on our wrists
Trying our best to live a normal life?
And if we're simply "scaredy-cats",
Why is our fear so vividly intense?
Unlike simple fear, our anxiety will stick with us forever
A severe long-lasting feeling of powerful panic.
A feeling from which we'll never be free.
Suddenly we're childish for having a mental disorder?
Schizophrenia is not something we can control.
YouIf you’re a girl, you’re a girl.
If you’re a boy, you’re a boy.
If you’re white, you’re white.
If you’re black, you’re black.
If you’re gay, you’re gay.
If you’re bi, you’re bi.
If you’re straight, you’re straight.
If you’re religious, you’re religious.
If you’re an atheist, you’re an atheist.
If you’re mentally disabled, you’re still human.
If you’re physically disabled, you’re still human.
For everything you are:
So who are they to judge you for who you are?
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
daydreams and monsters.she was a girl.
she ran with the moon,
chased fireflies in the bluegrass, and
watched the reflection of sunsets in rain puddles.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
but to the dragonflies she was a queen,
and to the mirror she was a sister.
the moon was her prince, and the
blinking windows were the eyes
that kept her safe.
she spent her nights making wishes, and she
dragged her fingers along the shooting stars
that were tangled with her vertebrae.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
her body was a river
her mind was an ocean
and her heart was the sky.
she lived in a world where
doves flew in the sea and
whales swam in the
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
poem for borderlinesif i could concentrate over
seven hundred thousand eyes
at the roof to the numbers stepping
from the nicities & rows
to go back
to the shattered surface
& the ripples beating over the hang
halfway between shallow
biting lips. maybe--
she couldn't have known
that it takes a whole three minutes
for the lungs to
well, maybe she
who, oh well
the white; the haze--
the booming over
the spume and spray
me get out of my head
just pull up the shutters
my tongue the weight to talk
but that's all we'll ever be:
a match burning itself out for
under the backspray of someone else's wheels
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More