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RegretIn a mere instant you mischievously took my breath away
If I'd only known that deceit and death would stay
The heat wouldn't have made me lay the world at your feet
Now I'm ought to pay the price for these faked seed
The moment I curtsied as deeply, kneeling before you,
I ignorantly sealed my fate completely, a bleeding sore
Steadily numbing me with grief eternally, you'll see
The effects of leaving me, a disease far from any healing
Why have you abandoned me? And why did I let you go?
But you, purity, have no footprints I could follow, even though
I should stop giving up everything I owe for you. I will
Face my throe since I foreknow it will never work out at all.
I concede my pursuit of you, every thought's now wasted and hollow
Lo and Behold, the atrocious truth I'm about to let implode
Infinite time won't be a cure for a broken heart nor an empty soul
You only become inured to the pain, a hollering everlasting shadow.
LossA long forgotten emotion,
Passion beyond comprehension,
Was set in motion, a consuming fire
Ascending from an once plain desire.
Now my head is an area of tension,
My heart a stormy ocean, conspiring
Against my sanity, acquiring
My sense of reality. Perception
Barely clear. Your crimson appearance,
Imprisoned me in a madly trance.
You didn't let me drop,
I was solid as a rock, unable to stop.
Bonded to pure temptation,
Copped for insane admiration.
What a frustration you thought
And became bored to the border.
You left and shattered the order
Of our world. Wincing even louder
I mourn my last summer,
Summoning the outworn winter
This gorgeous feeling,
Seeking for more glorious bliss,
But the world is amiss,
Evolving at an insane speed,
I am unable to keep
Up with. Unstable and emptied
I live, yet frenzied by a sparkle of
Fictive opportunity. Aching memories
Won't leave me be.
Ich binDer einsame Wolf
Belogen, betrogen, verstoßen von meinem eigenem Volk
Wider aller Graumsamkeit bewahrte Ich meinen Stolz
Meine Grün-blauen Augen
Brennende Entschlossenheit, kein Irrglauben
Kalte Leidenschaft um Seelen zu Rauben
Arroganz und Zorn beschatten mein Antlitz
Meine Macht ist das Wort, doch meine Klauen sind spitz
Mein Geist, mein Blick, ein durchbohrender Blitz
Dreaming close to the edgeI'm lying here calmly
With my eyes closed, fearless
I'm breahting steadily
The world revolves in darkness
I dare to dream
Of an amazingly beautiful scenery
A hidden scream
Rises to surface unconsciously
Letting myself drift through my soul's twisted paths
I hope to not get lost in all eternity
A raven resounding voice distinctively calls
To give in my instincts blindly
The voice: majestic - yet scaring
It attracts, lures, tempts
My mind, for my head to be aching
Holllering ghosts it exempts
The resolve to withstand shatters
I follow the absorbing voice
Reason stays behind and mutters
But I already made my choice
The voice has me under its spell
Now it lays down its mask
Revealing a devilish monster I could not repel,
And starts its torturing task
Anger, fury and rage rule me
I dared to dream
Fear, hurt and pain caused by me
All I do is scream
The voice makes me raise the bloody sword
Pointing it at the innocent child
And - I finally wake up. Peace restored.
For now the voice is exiled.
Forced to passivityNow I'm sitting here being ill
The worst: unable to finally fulfill
What I spoke of as the quest
For my will to ultimately test
As night's darkness nears
I desperately shed my precious tears
Wouldn't care if anybody hears
What stimulates my fears
My world has been shattered
A cloak of pain is all I wear
Oh, fate don't you dare feel flattered!
And what's left? An empty stare.
VictimYou are holy
The kindest person I knew
Your fate solely
A warm heart that only have few
What I sensed when I first met you
Innocence, purity, unconditional love
Noone couldn't like you, me too
Sadly the scapegoat was a dove
She first reached out to me
When the burning pain was unbearable
Pulled me out of hell didn't she?
Yet it didn't make her destiny less terrible
Is what ripped apart her existence
At least bloodless
And now freed of all ecumbrance
Your will of ember
Within your friends as defender
We live your memory
Through my empty life
No goal set high
Nothing to lead my way
And nowhere I want to stay
Friends I had
Nice people, nothing too bad
But my bonds are not made
For a long lasting charade
We talk, we have fun
Together but I desire to run
Away. I don't feel connected
To these people. I already shed
Too many lonely tears
Is it me everyone fears?
Still remains a certain wish
I know it's quite selfish
Someone reaching out to me
Discovering my personality
Showing honest interest
And being my best
Wishes rarely come true
I am eagerly waiting for you
Until then I am fulfilling my destiny
Being the lone wolf
ResolveYour goals were set high
Wanted to conquer the sky
But progress is missing
Your doing lacks blessing
Doubt and despair will come along
Marking everything you believed in as wrong
Fear will be the harbinger
And emptiness is what lingers
Your world is turning upside down
But there is one escape from the emotional drown
Your will can be your shield
If your hearts desire is the weapon you wield
A message to the brokenYou drown yourself
in liquid sorrows,
letting the salty mess
burn your wounds,
and the sadness
to drip in your mouth,
consuming your words
and you say
you deserve the pain,
but I want to dry your face,
and whisper in your ear
how the clouds cry too,
while they hold such beauty,
and so do you.
Pretty metaphors are for pretty girlsI told you to stop
spewing pretty metaphors at me,
for with each elaborate comparison,
I feel a bit more
detached from this world
And maybe I don’t feel so strong at the moment,
but would you be
if you felt like the entire universe
was resting upon your shoulders,
and someone was just there saying:
But you’re stronger than the powerful beats
of a butterfly’s wings
And maybe I do need more confidence,
but would you exuberate it
when the part you hated most about yourself
were the freckles that have speckled your face for years,
and someone was just there muttering:
They’re not flaws,
but rather stars that form constellations
Yes, I can’t help but hate
all those unrealistic metaphors
you choose to pelt at me when I’m low,
yet the irony is,
I know that those beautiful words
are realistic in your eyes,
So I can’t hate you.
dark circlesi haven't slept well in 14 days
my eyes droop pretty colors
'50 shades of purple and grey,
they're bags and they're designer'
making jokes is how i cope
with chapped lips and constant chap-stick
it tastes like honey and mint
i laugh and say i'm addicted.
hooded lids and sleepy smiles
during lunch at subway
my friends ask if I'm okay
I say that I'm just tired.
but really when I see him with her
my heart sinks to the tiles
she's pretty and witty and sure as hell she can sing
and i'm just a loud bone-collector.
when I see her with him,
dancing and laughing and grinning,
the ring on her finger
laughs at my singularity.
for as much as i lie and as much as i try
my loneliness still creeps in,
because no matter how much they protest,
i'm still the lowly fifth-wheel.
walking behind them on sidewalks
that are wide, but built for four
smiles and laughs when they look back
but the frown creeps evermore.
pelvis peaks through paper-thin skin
and knuckles white and pale
my ribs are empty, my bo
Clear WristA clear wrist, barren of scars,
as opposed to skin sauntered in marks,
tells a trickier story than it's soiled and raw,
uncaring, unkempt counter part.
Bravery, I think it holds,
the strength to bare unimaginable loads
of pain and suffering through endless times,
and withstanding the agony of sleepless nights.
Some think it is fear, the reluctance to cut,
but I believe it opposite, it show courage and guts.
To bear your pain without a nick on your wrist,
is like a solider braving his terrain while being torn limb from limb.
Agonizing as it is, to hide your pain,
you do it so well, and no attention you'll gain.
At the end of the day, it's not cry for attention,
rather a cry for the victory that's silently mentioned.
Your scars are those not self inflicted,
and despite the gnawing intention,
to harm yourself and ease your pain,
the scars you earn are rightfully gained.
In a room of those who have jumped the gun,
and left traces of blood deep in their arms,
do not be tempted to do the sam
specter boys have always looked best sinkinghe says,
i want to count all 206 &
feel the notches of your ribs -
i want you, weary boy, to
phase yourself down while
you are burning inside out.
i will seethe inside your skull
like thoughts, like cigarette filters;
you will thank me as i molder in your marrow.
These Faded KeysOf all the keys I click
As we speak each day,
It's the back arrow
That's faded most
These white letters
Would surely tell you,
I reply to everything -
But the key reading "enter"
Will be the one to explain
Why it still looks new
I want you to know
Just how much I care,
But I don't want to be close
Out of the fear of losing you
But please remember:
I dedicate these words to you,
Sharing them to the world
Rather than clicking away
At the faded key ~
Keep in Touch!