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RegretIn a mere instant you mischievously took my breath away
If I'd only known that deceit and death would stay
The heat wouldn't have made me lay the world at your feet
Now I'm ought to pay the price for these faked seed
The moment I curtsied as deeply, kneeling before you,
I ignorantly sealed my fate completely, a bleeding sore
Steadily numbing me with grief eternally, you'll see
The effects of leaving me, a disease far from any healing
Why have you abandoned me? And why did I let you go?
But you, purity, have no footprints I could follow, even though
I should stop giving up everything I owe for you. I will
Face my throe since I foreknow it will never work out at all.
I concede my pursuit of you, every thought's now wasted and hollow
Lo and Behold, the atrocious truth I'm about to let implode
Infinite time won't be a cure for a broken heart nor an empty soul
You only become inured to the pain, a hollering everlasting shadow.
LossA long forgotten emotion,
Passion beyond comprehension,
Was set in motion, a consuming fire
Ascending from an once plain desire.
Now my head is an area of tension,
My heart a stormy ocean, conspiring
Against my sanity, acquiring
My sense of reality. Perception
Barely clear. Your crimson appearance,
Imprisoned me in a madly trance.
You didn't let me drop,
I was solid as a rock, unable to stop.
Bonded to pure temptation,
Copped for insane admiration.
What a frustration you thought
And became bored to the border.
You left and shattered the order
Of our world. Wincing even louder
I mourn my last summer,
Summoning the outworn winter
This gorgeous feeling,
Seeking for more glorious bliss,
But the world is amiss,
Evolving at an insane speed,
I am unable to keep
Up with. Unstable and emptied
I live, yet frenzied by a sparkle of
Fictive opportunity. Aching memories
Won't leave me be.
Ich binDer einsame Wolf
Belogen, betrogen, verstoßen von meinem eigenem Volk
Wider aller Graumsamkeit bewahrte Ich meinen Stolz
Meine Grün-blauen Augen
Brennende Entschlossenheit, kein Irrglauben
Kalte Leidenschaft um Seelen zu Rauben
Arroganz und Zorn beschatten mein Antlitz
Meine Macht ist das Wort, doch meine Klauen sind spitz
Mein Geist, mein Blick, ein durchbohrender Blitz
Dreaming close to the edgeI'm lying here calmly
With my eyes closed, fearless
I'm breahting steadily
The world revolves in darkness
I dare to dream
Of an amazingly beautiful scenery
A hidden scream
Rises to surface unconsciously
Letting myself drift through my soul's twisted paths
I hope to not get lost in all eternity
A raven resounding voice distinctively calls
To give in my instincts blindly
The voice: majestic - yet scaring
It attracts, lures, tempts
My mind, for my head to be aching
Holllering ghosts it exempts
The resolve to withstand shatters
I follow the absorbing voice
Reason stays behind and mutters
But I already made my choice
The voice has me under its spell
Now it lays down its mask
Revealing a devilish monster I could not repel,
And starts its torturing task
Anger, fury and rage rule me
I dared to dream
Fear, hurt and pain caused by me
All I do is scream
The voice makes me raise the bloody sword
Pointing it at the innocent child
And - I finally wake up. Peace restored.
For now the voice is exiled.
Forced to passivityNow I'm sitting here being ill
The worst: unable to finally fulfill
What I spoke of as the quest
For my will to ultimately test
As night's darkness nears
I desperately shed my precious tears
Wouldn't care if anybody hears
What stimulates my fears
My world has been shattered
A cloak of pain is all I wear
Oh, fate don't you dare feel flattered!
And what's left? An empty stare.
VictimYou are holy
The kindest person I knew
Your fate solely
A warm heart that only have few
What I sensed when I first met you
Innocence, purity, unconditional love
Noone couldn't like you, me too
Sadly the scapegoat was a dove
She first reached out to me
When the burning pain was unbearable
Pulled me out of hell didn't she?
Yet it didn't make her destiny less terrible
Is what ripped apart her existence
At least bloodless
And now freed of all ecumbrance
Your will of ember
Within your friends as defender
We live your memory
Through my empty life
No goal set high
Nothing to lead my way
And nowhere I want to stay
Friends I had
Nice people, nothing too bad
But my bonds are not made
For a long lasting charade
We talk, we have fun
Together but I desire to run
Away. I don't feel connected
To these people. I already shed
Too many lonely tears
Is it me everyone fears?
Still remains a certain wish
I know it's quite selfish
Someone reaching out to me
Discovering my personality
Showing honest interest
And being my best
Wishes rarely come true
I am eagerly waiting for you
Until then I am fulfilling my destiny
Being the lone wolf
ResolveYour goals were set high
Wanted to conquer the sky
But progress is missing
Your doing lacks blessing
Doubt and despair will come along
Marking everything you believed in as wrong
Fear will be the harbinger
And emptiness is what lingers
Your world is turning upside down
But there is one escape from the emotional drown
Your will can be your shield
If your hearts desire is the weapon you wield
I AmI am single,
but I am loved.
I am not a genius,
but I am intelligent.
I am not breathtaking,
but I have beauty.
I am not a saint,
but I am kind.
To the world,
I am not perfect.
But for someone,
Two Years LaterShe asked him gently, “Do you love me?”
In his long silence, she found closure,
And left her love under a willow tree.
lung canceri will die with your name on my lips
because there is nothing else i'll need to say.
you are my coffin, my funeral pyre.
as my bones disintegrate, popping and snapping,
you will greedily swallow my ashes
until nothing is left of me but secondhand smoke.
i've danced with you, love, across hospital tile,
the scent of antiseptic cloying as valentine's chocolate.
you dipped me into unconsciousness,
and i willingly closed my eyes.
the intrusion of your scalpel teeth no longer scares me.
you, my rigor mortis soul mate, always take me under.
your tent of frostbitten shelter pulls me down, an anchor,
while i gag on pills too abstract to save me.
forgive me, lungs, of my cigarette abuse,
but i've found happiness in a reaper's cloak.
i find comfort in these carcinogens.
i've made my nest in a swaying tree,
my body destroyed by the nauseous rocking.
they smile at me with pity in their eyes,
scribbling nonsense on those jaw-like clipboards.
their crisp, stark white world still has faith in me,
you've been dead for a year, my deari met you on december 21st,
the longest night of the year.
you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring.
i knew you were not meant to last,
powerful as a gale but fragile as
the tulip stems you snapped,
a sickening cycle of you,
an overwhelming tidal wave.
they say two wrongs will never make a right,
but i made so many bad choices that
i wound up back where I began.
it was too easy to love you,
but getting you to love me back was impossible.
i clawed at your chest until I struck blood,
until my nails split into shards.
you were born a phantom,
and i, your corpse.
holding onto you felt like drowning in quicksand;
i fought but always sank into your arms.
i breathed in dirt, breathed in dust, and
found my organs choked with you,
smothered by your existence.
you sucked out my breath
every time i kissed you.
i died every day with your hand
knotted in my hair.
You left on june 21st,
the longest day of the year.
i bit down sorrow and deconstructed
the labyrinth within me,
the one you hadn't th
All Her Little ThingsStop hating her for the littlest things.
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from..
Stop demanding her to do things,
Things she can't accomplish,
Things she can't imagine being done...
Stop lying to her,
Telling her you love her,
Want her, need her...
When all you've ever done is make her want to
Stop hating her for the littlest things.
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from...
When those little things you've done
Take her down...
The little things won't matter anymore.
I give upSometimes
I try so hard to change for people
Do what they want,
Listen to their critiques,
Try to be a good friend..
But you know?
Everyone makes mistakes,
is not perfect,
is tired and stressed and slips,
It is never good enough,
no matter what I do,
nobody ever sees what I changed,
everybody always only sees my faults.
I get criticised for what I did wrong,
but never acknowledged for what I changed,
I give up.
I don't have the energy anymore,
to always justify myself,
to always go up and be the one,
that is bad,
to always be the one,
Sometimes I think I'm better off without anyone...
Eye of the StormI believed I could make the wind blow,
and force the moon to shine at night,
create rainbows just by thinking,
and hold tea parties for fairies in July,
I was the queen of my own graceful lands.
Yet, I grew old and realized,
I am the kind of girl who'd trip and fall,
often for stepping on her own feet.
My crown of diamond and gold
now a rusted piece of bronze,
I lost my throne to treason, my kingdom to hate,
I became the eye of a hurricane,
loaded with mishaps I need to atone.
I felt the soft touches of angels,
and lost my own wings to demons who could crush stone.
Felt the scorching tears run so often,
I knew I must have hit bottom low.
I had nothing holy, no one to call dear,
but here I am, the starting point of my own storm.
I felt fear, clung to shadows,
encased my heart within marble walls,
and threw the keys that can unlock my soul.
So many chances I've lost with no love to seek,
and so many people I turned my back to.
I let the darkness gnaw through my bones.
A stranger walked up to me today...A man walked up to me and asked me for a cigarette… I told him I didn't smoke anymore, and he asked me why? ––I answered "because the person I used to smoke with, isn't around anymore", and he replied…"that's why I smoke."
A woman walked up to me and asked me for drugs, I replied "I have several in store…his eyes, his smile, his hands"…she whispered, "that's not a drug"…and I laughed as I said.. "if only you knew."
A child walked up to me today and asked me to play a game, I told them I was too tired to play games, i'd been playing for years, they replied…"then you must be a pro!", to which I said "yes…a pro at losing."
An old woman stared at me today, and I asked her…"is something wrong?" she answered "I was about to ask you the same question."
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More